Daniel Clarkson, writer and creator of Potted Potter at Bally’s: Besides acting and comedy, if there was any other talent you could have what would it be and why?

Which talent, singular? If you are handing out talents so free and easy seems a little unfair to only limit me to one! What use is singing without dancing, knife throwing without fire eating, breathing under water without the ability to talk to fish and crustacean, leading to many spectacular musical numbers before a sea witch grants me my dream of actual real life legs and I’m able finally go up onto dry land and marry Prince Eric. OK, so the last example goes slightly off track, but you get the general idea.

You’re not going to budge on only being allowed one, are you? Fine OK, no little mermaid enactment today!

Strangely enough in this joyous lock down I’ve been trying to refresh and learn several new talents, you know, all the stuff that we used to put off or say “oh if only I had the time.” Well time is currently something I seem to have in abundance. So, I’ve brushed off my old saxophone and can now play “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” which I think is very apt for this time of year and it’s delightful that my neighbors are constantly banging on my wall in support. And I’ve started to teach myself Spanish, with one of these “30 minutes a day and you too can speak fluent Spanish in six weeks” packs. This is a lie—it’s been seven (days) and all I am able to say is: Tengo un caso grave de diarrea. Donde está el hospital? Which I don’t think needs me to translate but you never know, it might come in handy!

So if I was only allowed to choose one talent, I think right now I’d probably go for something that’s very much outside the realms of human possibility. And it would have to be the ability to fly. Who hasn’t imagined that? Just come out your house and up, up and away! You could cruise up and down the Vegas Strip while still respecting social distancing. Terrify the odd seagull that happens to be passing by, go and visit friends and loved ones giving them a cheeky wave from the air. Even getting an actual real-life game of Quidditch going, you wouldn’t even need a Nimbus 2000 you could literally use just any old cleaning apparatus as you have the ability of flight. Yeah wizards—I dare you to call me a muggle now as I race around on my squeeze mop!

Yup without a doubt that’d be the talent I’d like please. Can I expect it soon? I assume we get to have the one we ask for, no?

Jefferson Turner, writer and creator of Potted Potter: Besides acting and comedy, if there was any other talent you could have what would it be and why?

I’d say musicality. I am hugely lucky to have performed on stages all around the world, but it would be even better if I could have been playing the guitar or singing as well. I have not been blessed with a good singing voice, and our poor musical director, Phil, has to teach me how to sing each line of a song, before I can dare take it out in public. Thanks to his help, I hit the last note of Potted Potter’s musical finale about 75 percent of the time (when I miss, I have learned to just fade out, and Dan raises his volume to cover. Thanks Dan!)

We have passed our shows on to younger (and prettier) actors on some occasions over the years. It is always an odd experience watching them perform a show that Dan and I have developed over a number of years. It is always a delight when they find new jokes in the show, and I love it when they make me laugh. But, if I am honest, I find it galling when they sing the final song better than I could even dream of, and so seemingly effortlessly.

Being able to play an instrument is such a social thing, and I obviously hate everyone who can do it. I have tried in the past but I just don’t have it in me. I am not musical. I don’t love musicals (with a few notable exceptions) and my musical tastes are stuck firmly in the ’60s. But, I have co-written and performed a comedy show that is in residency in Vegas—a town I absolutely adore being in, and am chomping at the bit to get back to as soon as I am allowed back out of the UK. I just wouldn’t recommend being in the karaoke bar at the same time as me—it tends to clear out about halfway through my song.

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